and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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