Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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