She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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