He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
