Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
