I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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