no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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