We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
