No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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