kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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