That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
do herpes really smell.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize