My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
