I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My feet surprised me
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