I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
