forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize