Will you blow on my dice?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
