How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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