his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
