Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
