I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
