So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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