and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
