and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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