i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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