My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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