Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
