we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
