She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
