You really coming over, don't trick.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do herpes really smell.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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