I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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