That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
