i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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