Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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