New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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