its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
