And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
