he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
