No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
