Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
