she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize