ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
