I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
