Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
