i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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