You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
