His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
