Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
