i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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