You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
