why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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