I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My vagina just recognized that song.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
