Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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