his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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