no, he came in my armpit
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
