Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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