It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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