Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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