At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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