Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
