Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize