Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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