I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
