Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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