Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
