from now on my penis is your penis
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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