was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
