Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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