i already hear my dad disowning me
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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