College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize