I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i think i just lost a toe
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
