Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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