He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
