butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
BRING THE BAGELS
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
