i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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