11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
