my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
