After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize